In parts 1 and 2, I showed you why the Corinthians had marriage, remarriage, divorce and singleness issues. They were living in a society that dealt with marriage in a variety of ways, some of which was not biblical.
But the major problem the Corinthians had was this: The moral character within marriage had so been destroyed that divorce was very, very rampant. There are records of people who had been married as many as 27, 28, 29 times. They counted their years by their wives.
There was immorality. There was rampant homosexuality, concubines, men used their wives to clean up the house and cook the meals and do whatever else and then they had other women for their pleasure.
On top of all of that, did you know that at the time of the Apostle Paul, in those days in the Roman Empire, there was a feminist rebellion? Here is a quote from a book titled, “Daily Life in Rome.”
"Along side the heroines of the aristocracy, the irreproachable wives and the excellent mothers who were still found within its ranks, it is easy to sight emancipated or rather unbridled wives who evaded the duties of maternity for fear of losing their good looks. Some took a pride in being behind their husbands in no sphere of activity and vie with them in tests of strength which their sex would have seemed to forbid. Some were not content to live their lives by their husband's side, but carried on another life without him. Were that because of voluntary birth control or because of the impoverish stock; many Roman marriages at the end of the first and the beginning of the second centuries were childless.
"With spear in hand and breasts exposed, who took to pig-sticking. Others attended chariot races in men's clothing and some became wrestlers.
"What modesty can you expect in a woman who wears a helmet, hates her own sex and delights in feats of strength?"
Before long, marriage began to suffer. Vows were violated. Women demanded to live their own lives. And as soon as the women wanted out, the husbands could take about so much of that and then they were happy to let them out. And men began to discard their women as fast as women began to leave. And they would discard their women for going out without a veil, for speaking to the wrong person in public, for going somewhere or doing something without asking their permission. They would divorce a woman to get a richer one.
The author then says, "Thus does she lord it over her husband, but before long she vacates her kingdom, she flits from one house to another wearing out her bridal veil.”
So, you can see that the picture of marriage was a very confused thing. Others were in and out of marriage, divorce was rife. There were problems with who is really married and who is not married and what about the guy who use to live in a tent companionship and somebody sold off his wife, can he remarry again?
Now to add to this laundry list of problems, let me add this last one: Some would suggest that the best way out is never to get married, just forget the whole thing. And they began to elevate the idea of celibacy so as to become a spiritually elite person. If you weren't married and you were single and you were celibate, you were sort of a spiritual super-person. You had denied yourself the flesh. You had laid aside all of those things and totally devoted yourself to Jesus Christ. And there was a prevailing view in the Corinthian church that celibacy was the highest form of Christian life, to never get married, to have no sexual relationship at all. And it got so bad that people were not only not getting married, but condemning the people who were married. And the people who were married were leaving their partners in order to be celibate so they could be more spiritual. And people who were married to an unbeliever were getting out fast because there was supposedly defilement in being married to an unbeliever and having a sexual relationship with an unbeliever.
The idea of celibacy being a high level of spiritual devotion is still with us. It found its way into the Roman Catholic Church and it's still there. The idea that a truly godly holy person can't be married is still in the Catholic Church and priests and nuns don't marry for that reason. They wear a wedding ring, very often, as a symbol of their marriage to Jesus Christ. They say that makes them superior spiritually to the rest of us who are married. So that isn't anything that we're not familiar with.
It is noteworthy that in the end times, I Timothy 4 says, people are going to come along talking about forbidding marrying (1 Tim. 4:3). I have talked to some who in their minds believe that celibacy is the highest form of Christian living. When Paul said it is better to be as he is (celibate), they conclude that Paul was making a comparison that being married is second class to being single. As we go through the seventh chapter of 1 Corinthians, I will endeavor to show you that is not what Paul was trying to convey.
End of Part 3
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Should I Marry? Part 2
A friend once asked Isidor I. Rabi, a Nobel Prize winner in science, how he became a scientist. Rabi replied that every day after school his mother would talk to him about his school day. She wasn't so much interested in what he had learned that day, but she always inquired, "Did you ask a good question today?"
"Asking good questions," Rabi said, "made me become a scientist."
This is precisely what the Corinthians had done. They had a question concerning marriage, so they wrote a letter to Paul: “Now concerning the things about which you wrote. . .” (1 Cor. 7:1). In fact, the Corinthians had written and asked Paul about four issues on their minds:
First, they had a question concerning marriage – 1 Cor. 7:1.
Second, they had a question concerning things sacrificed to idols – 1 Cor. 8:1.
Third, they had a question or concern about women in the church – 1 Cor. 11.
Fourth, they had a question concerning spiritual gifts – 1 Cor. 12:1.
Therefore, the Corinthians were dealing with some major issues, such as, marriage, divorce and remarriage; things sacrificed to idols; women in the church; and spiritual gifts. They had written to Paul about such things and so the whole Book of 1 Corinthians is Paul’s answers to their questions.
Now to understand why this church had problems with marriages, it is important to understand a little about the context in which they were living. Remember, the city of Corinth was in a Roman province. Rome had no uniform set of marital laws. Anyone could get married at least four different ways, all of which were recognized as marriage in some sense.
The first way had to do with slaves. There were many slaves in those days -- hundreds of thousands of slaves and they weren't considered human so they didn't have any of the rights of a Roman citizen. And when a slave wanted to get married, instead of an official marriage, the owner of the slaves would agree to what was called a “tent companionship.” The owner would say, “Alright, you two can live in a tent together.” And that consummated a certain kind of slave marriage.
Now, if he didn't like the way they were living together and he didn't particularly care for the situation or the slave, the master of the slave could go in and take them apart. Or, he could sell off the husband or he could sell off the wife. So you had a lot of real problems in the early church because so many of the Christians in Corinth were this way before coming to Christ. And now that they had come to Christ, they were wondering if their marriage was legit and if they should continue living together. So then, with these kinds of marriages performed in the Roman world and people like this in the church, how will the church handle such couples?
What Paul did do was not try to break things up but to try to teach them the sanctity of the marriage that they had whatever the legal basis was of it. If they were living together under a tent companionship, then he simply taught them to stay together and prove themselves true to one another, and to love one another, and to make everything of that marriage that God designed it to be. Because that's really all the choice they had as slaves.
A second way one could get married under the Roman system was called, “Usus.” This particular custom meant that a woman and a man could live together for one year. At the end of the one year, they would become identified as husband and wife. Today we would call this “Common law marriage.”
So, again, the church back during Paul’s time would have had to deal with people who were common law married, who had no legal paper or anything to identify their marriage. Again the New Testament doesn't say anything about such only that they ought to live in the sanctity of the marriage under whatever it exists. That is, just maintain it. Of course, we would not encourage couples to live together by any means for one year. But in Rome, when this was done, the couple was considered legally married. The church had to accept and deal with this.
There was also a third way, which was “Marriage by Sale,” where the father sold his daughter to the husband. If the guy would come across with the right price, he could have the daughter. And of course, depending on the girl, the price would vary. If the girl was really beautiful looking, the guy would probably pay between three to four dozen sheep. If she wasn’t, he would give her father a lame chicken. But again, you had these kinds of couples in the church.
But the most elevated and the most noble way for couples to become married was a coming together on a much higher level. This was the classy kind of marriage. And you want to know something very interesting about this? The entire marriage ceremony as we know it today in the Christian church comes from this pagan Roman marriage, the one we practice and go to presently. It does not come from Hebrew custom in the Old Testament, it does not come from a New Testament basis, it's entirely the Roman pagan ceremony that was used back during the first century.
For example, the Roman Catholic Church simply picked up the standard Roman ceremony and when the Reformation came in the seventeenth century, nothing changed or no one sought to change things. By the time of the Reformation, it had become tradition and pretty much the same today. In fact, the Hebrew wedding lasted seven days. So, you know we're not into that. We're far from the Hebrew customary wedding. But the Roman pagan wedding was a short one-afternooner, or a one-evening thing.
The two families came together; they picked out a matron who would be like the maid-of-honor and a best man. The couple joined their right hands, which is also what we still do in a marriage ceremony. They recited vows. And after the vows there were prayers offered, that's the standard procedure only they offered the prayers to Jupiter and Juno. There were flowers. Flowers were customary and a bridal wreath was really the beginning of what we know today as the bridal bouquet. The bride always wore a veil which was lifted. There was a ring and it was always put on the same left hand ring finger. Note: In fact, medical scientists in their dissecting of the human body, discovered that a nerve ran from the middle of the ring finger on your left hand right to the heart. And since that nerve was connected to the heart, that's the place where the ring is placed! This all came from the pagan Roman system of marriage. When all that was over, the bride and groom went to another place to celebrate their wedding and believe it or not, they had a cake. That's right. So, now you know where the whole custom came from. Not from the Bible, not from Hebrew custom, but from pagan Rome! But that’s okay, because the church can take that which is pagan and redeem it and use it for the Lord.
So, there were at least four ways a person could get married back during the time of the Corinthians. The church at Corinth had these four kinds of marriages within its membership. People who were being saved and coming out of the pagan Roman system had questions about the way they had gotten married and the legality of their marital status. So the church wrote a letter to Paul asking him to clarify. This is what Paul was doing when he wrote the seventh chapter of 1 Corinthians.
What Paul basically does would be to simply teach the sanctity of marriage, whatever way one happened to get into it. Paul’s point is to just make the most of it now that you're there.
End of Part 2
"Asking good questions," Rabi said, "made me become a scientist."
This is precisely what the Corinthians had done. They had a question concerning marriage, so they wrote a letter to Paul: “Now concerning the things about which you wrote. . .” (1 Cor. 7:1). In fact, the Corinthians had written and asked Paul about four issues on their minds:
First, they had a question concerning marriage – 1 Cor. 7:1.
Second, they had a question concerning things sacrificed to idols – 1 Cor. 8:1.
Third, they had a question or concern about women in the church – 1 Cor. 11.
Fourth, they had a question concerning spiritual gifts – 1 Cor. 12:1.
Therefore, the Corinthians were dealing with some major issues, such as, marriage, divorce and remarriage; things sacrificed to idols; women in the church; and spiritual gifts. They had written to Paul about such things and so the whole Book of 1 Corinthians is Paul’s answers to their questions.
Now to understand why this church had problems with marriages, it is important to understand a little about the context in which they were living. Remember, the city of Corinth was in a Roman province. Rome had no uniform set of marital laws. Anyone could get married at least four different ways, all of which were recognized as marriage in some sense.
The first way had to do with slaves. There were many slaves in those days -- hundreds of thousands of slaves and they weren't considered human so they didn't have any of the rights of a Roman citizen. And when a slave wanted to get married, instead of an official marriage, the owner of the slaves would agree to what was called a “tent companionship.” The owner would say, “Alright, you two can live in a tent together.” And that consummated a certain kind of slave marriage.
Now, if he didn't like the way they were living together and he didn't particularly care for the situation or the slave, the master of the slave could go in and take them apart. Or, he could sell off the husband or he could sell off the wife. So you had a lot of real problems in the early church because so many of the Christians in Corinth were this way before coming to Christ. And now that they had come to Christ, they were wondering if their marriage was legit and if they should continue living together. So then, with these kinds of marriages performed in the Roman world and people like this in the church, how will the church handle such couples?
What Paul did do was not try to break things up but to try to teach them the sanctity of the marriage that they had whatever the legal basis was of it. If they were living together under a tent companionship, then he simply taught them to stay together and prove themselves true to one another, and to love one another, and to make everything of that marriage that God designed it to be. Because that's really all the choice they had as slaves.
A second way one could get married under the Roman system was called, “Usus.” This particular custom meant that a woman and a man could live together for one year. At the end of the one year, they would become identified as husband and wife. Today we would call this “Common law marriage.”
So, again, the church back during Paul’s time would have had to deal with people who were common law married, who had no legal paper or anything to identify their marriage. Again the New Testament doesn't say anything about such only that they ought to live in the sanctity of the marriage under whatever it exists. That is, just maintain it. Of course, we would not encourage couples to live together by any means for one year. But in Rome, when this was done, the couple was considered legally married. The church had to accept and deal with this.
There was also a third way, which was “Marriage by Sale,” where the father sold his daughter to the husband. If the guy would come across with the right price, he could have the daughter. And of course, depending on the girl, the price would vary. If the girl was really beautiful looking, the guy would probably pay between three to four dozen sheep. If she wasn’t, he would give her father a lame chicken. But again, you had these kinds of couples in the church.
But the most elevated and the most noble way for couples to become married was a coming together on a much higher level. This was the classy kind of marriage. And you want to know something very interesting about this? The entire marriage ceremony as we know it today in the Christian church comes from this pagan Roman marriage, the one we practice and go to presently. It does not come from Hebrew custom in the Old Testament, it does not come from a New Testament basis, it's entirely the Roman pagan ceremony that was used back during the first century.
For example, the Roman Catholic Church simply picked up the standard Roman ceremony and when the Reformation came in the seventeenth century, nothing changed or no one sought to change things. By the time of the Reformation, it had become tradition and pretty much the same today. In fact, the Hebrew wedding lasted seven days. So, you know we're not into that. We're far from the Hebrew customary wedding. But the Roman pagan wedding was a short one-afternooner, or a one-evening thing.
The two families came together; they picked out a matron who would be like the maid-of-honor and a best man. The couple joined their right hands, which is also what we still do in a marriage ceremony. They recited vows. And after the vows there were prayers offered, that's the standard procedure only they offered the prayers to Jupiter and Juno. There were flowers. Flowers were customary and a bridal wreath was really the beginning of what we know today as the bridal bouquet. The bride always wore a veil which was lifted. There was a ring and it was always put on the same left hand ring finger. Note: In fact, medical scientists in their dissecting of the human body, discovered that a nerve ran from the middle of the ring finger on your left hand right to the heart. And since that nerve was connected to the heart, that's the place where the ring is placed! This all came from the pagan Roman system of marriage. When all that was over, the bride and groom went to another place to celebrate their wedding and believe it or not, they had a cake. That's right. So, now you know where the whole custom came from. Not from the Bible, not from Hebrew custom, but from pagan Rome! But that’s okay, because the church can take that which is pagan and redeem it and use it for the Lord.
So, there were at least four ways a person could get married back during the time of the Corinthians. The church at Corinth had these four kinds of marriages within its membership. People who were being saved and coming out of the pagan Roman system had questions about the way they had gotten married and the legality of their marital status. So the church wrote a letter to Paul asking him to clarify. This is what Paul was doing when he wrote the seventh chapter of 1 Corinthians.
What Paul basically does would be to simply teach the sanctity of marriage, whatever way one happened to get into it. Paul’s point is to just make the most of it now that you're there.
End of Part 2
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Should I Marry? Part 1
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about singleness and marriage. Since my wife’s passing back in October of 2010, I have found myself hanging mostly with those who are single. I seem to gravitate toward them more than those who are married. When Paula was alive, we fellowshipped with those who were married more than those who are single. It is interesting how people will feel a pull toward those they find common ground with.
But since I’ve been hanging with single people a lot, I have heard their views about singleness and marriage. To be frank, some of what I have heard scares me. Some elevate singleness over and beyond marriage and others do not have a clue what marriage actually entails. I’ve gone away with more questions than answers. Therefore, I have decided to go to the one place where I can discover God’s mind on both singleness and marriage. There is no better place than in 1 Corinthians 7. I will be doing a series of blogs on this topic. I hope you will study with me and allow God’s Word to shape your views concerning both singleness and marriage.
Let’s begin with this question: Should I marry or should I not marry?
Marriage is, let's face it, a very hot item today. There are more books being written on that subject, I think, than any other one subject. The Bible has a lot to say about marriage. There is much in the New Testament about marriage. Jesus taught much about marriage. He referred to marriage many times in the gospel records. He stated in Matthew 19 that man and woman were made for each other. God made them for each other. He states that they should join themselves together and become one flesh and that this was marriage and this was actually a joining together by God Himself. Jesus also emphasized that marriage was monogamous, that it was to be two becoming one flesh, something that was first stated by God in Genesis chapter 2. Jesus also taught in Matthew 19 that marriage was to be unbroken. God hadn't changed His attitude at all about divorce. It was wrong from the beginning and it is still wrong, except in some rare occasions which we will discuss.
Jesus also taught not only that marriage was designed by God to be monogamous and to be unbroken, but that it was only for this life. Matthew 22:30, Mark 12:25, Luke 20:35, are all references that indicate marriage is only for this earth and not for heaven.
Now before digging deeper into the contents of 1 Corinthians 7, let me say something about the so-called “disclaimer” Paul seemed to use. Because it is Paul’s wording that has thrown some people for a loop and as a result, they do not take what Paul says in 1 Corinthians too seriously.
Here is what I mean. There are times when Paul says that he is giving his “opinion” rather than a command from Jesus. For example, over in verse 12, Paul writes: “To the rest I say, not the Lord, that if a brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, let him not send her away.” Some read this passage and conclude that Paul is merely giving his opinion and it is not as weighty as the words of Jesus Himself.
Now go down to verse 25, and there Paul adds: “Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy.” Thus again, some will conclude that Paul’s opinion is not as trustworthy as Jesus’ command, so we are to take what Paul says here very lightly.
Then verse 40, "But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God.”
So what are we to do with such statements by Paul? How much weight do we put on these verses? We are to put as much weight on Paul’s opinion as we place on the commands of Jesus Himself. When Paul makes his opinion statements, all he is saying is this: “Jesus did not teach on this issue. So let me offer you my thoughts as one who is led by the Spirit of God.” In other words, Paul would give Jesus’ command about virgins and about being married to an unbeliever if such a command existed. But since Jesus did not teach on it, Paul offers his instructions instead. And Paul instructions were inspired by the Holy Spirit and every word he wrote was superintended by the Spirit of God and therefore infallible in its teachings. Thus, Paul’s instructions are to be placed on the same par as the very commands and words of Jesus.
Now when Jesus did touch on an issue, Paul was careful to note it. For example, in verse 10 and you'll see what I mean. "Unto the married, I command, yet not I but the Lord, let not the wife depart from her husband." And you see, he quotes right out of the Lord's words in Mark 10. So, when he says it's not the Lord but himself, he is saying--I'm no longer quoting the teaching of Jesus. He is not saying it doesn't matter what I say, it's only human opinion. No. He is simply saying sometimes I'm quoting Christ, sometimes I'm not. And really what he's doing is putting himself on an equal basis with Christ in terms of revelation. So, Paul is simply saying – “If I'm quoting the Lord, I'll say it. If I'm not, I'll tell you it's not a quote of the Lord's, it's therefore some new information I am instructing you in.
End of Part 1 - To Be Continued
But since I’ve been hanging with single people a lot, I have heard their views about singleness and marriage. To be frank, some of what I have heard scares me. Some elevate singleness over and beyond marriage and others do not have a clue what marriage actually entails. I’ve gone away with more questions than answers. Therefore, I have decided to go to the one place where I can discover God’s mind on both singleness and marriage. There is no better place than in 1 Corinthians 7. I will be doing a series of blogs on this topic. I hope you will study with me and allow God’s Word to shape your views concerning both singleness and marriage.
Let’s begin with this question: Should I marry or should I not marry?
Marriage is, let's face it, a very hot item today. There are more books being written on that subject, I think, than any other one subject. The Bible has a lot to say about marriage. There is much in the New Testament about marriage. Jesus taught much about marriage. He referred to marriage many times in the gospel records. He stated in Matthew 19 that man and woman were made for each other. God made them for each other. He states that they should join themselves together and become one flesh and that this was marriage and this was actually a joining together by God Himself. Jesus also emphasized that marriage was monogamous, that it was to be two becoming one flesh, something that was first stated by God in Genesis chapter 2. Jesus also taught in Matthew 19 that marriage was to be unbroken. God hadn't changed His attitude at all about divorce. It was wrong from the beginning and it is still wrong, except in some rare occasions which we will discuss.
Jesus also taught not only that marriage was designed by God to be monogamous and to be unbroken, but that it was only for this life. Matthew 22:30, Mark 12:25, Luke 20:35, are all references that indicate marriage is only for this earth and not for heaven.
Now before digging deeper into the contents of 1 Corinthians 7, let me say something about the so-called “disclaimer” Paul seemed to use. Because it is Paul’s wording that has thrown some people for a loop and as a result, they do not take what Paul says in 1 Corinthians too seriously.
Here is what I mean. There are times when Paul says that he is giving his “opinion” rather than a command from Jesus. For example, over in verse 12, Paul writes: “To the rest I say, not the Lord, that if a brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, let him not send her away.” Some read this passage and conclude that Paul is merely giving his opinion and it is not as weighty as the words of Jesus Himself.
Now go down to verse 25, and there Paul adds: “Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy.” Thus again, some will conclude that Paul’s opinion is not as trustworthy as Jesus’ command, so we are to take what Paul says here very lightly.
Then verse 40, "But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God.”
So what are we to do with such statements by Paul? How much weight do we put on these verses? We are to put as much weight on Paul’s opinion as we place on the commands of Jesus Himself. When Paul makes his opinion statements, all he is saying is this: “Jesus did not teach on this issue. So let me offer you my thoughts as one who is led by the Spirit of God.” In other words, Paul would give Jesus’ command about virgins and about being married to an unbeliever if such a command existed. But since Jesus did not teach on it, Paul offers his instructions instead. And Paul instructions were inspired by the Holy Spirit and every word he wrote was superintended by the Spirit of God and therefore infallible in its teachings. Thus, Paul’s instructions are to be placed on the same par as the very commands and words of Jesus.
Now when Jesus did touch on an issue, Paul was careful to note it. For example, in verse 10 and you'll see what I mean. "Unto the married, I command, yet not I but the Lord, let not the wife depart from her husband." And you see, he quotes right out of the Lord's words in Mark 10. So, when he says it's not the Lord but himself, he is saying--I'm no longer quoting the teaching of Jesus. He is not saying it doesn't matter what I say, it's only human opinion. No. He is simply saying sometimes I'm quoting Christ, sometimes I'm not. And really what he's doing is putting himself on an equal basis with Christ in terms of revelation. So, Paul is simply saying – “If I'm quoting the Lord, I'll say it. If I'm not, I'll tell you it's not a quote of the Lord's, it's therefore some new information I am instructing you in.
End of Part 1 - To Be Continued
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