“He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord” – Prov. 18:22
Bishop Taylor came the closest of anyone to capturing the sentiment of finding a good wife, when he wrote: "If you are for pleasure, marry. If you prize rosy health, marry. A good wife is heaven's last best gift to a man; his angel of mercy; minister of graces innumerable; his gem of many virtues; his box of jewels; her voice, his sweetest music; her smiles, his brightest day; her kiss, the guardian of innocence; her arms, the pale of his safety; the balm of his health; the balsam of his life; her industry, his surest wealth; her economy, his safest steward; her lips, his faithful counselors...and her prayers, the ablest advocates of heaven's blessing on his head."
Today, October 25, marks the one year anniversary of my wife’s passing. For the past twelve months, I’ve been single, alone and grieving in various stages. I have chosen to move on in life, because of three important factors God has given to me:
First, is His never ending mercy. God was kind to my wife and me, in that we had two months to say our goodbyes. God knew that by doing so, it would make the grieving process go a lot better. Of course the goodbyes for Christians are different than other goodbyes. For my wife and me, our goodbye will only be temporary. One day soon, we will meet again and replace the goodbye with “hello again!”
Second, in His fatherly manner, God has given me through His Word a biblical perspective. When my wife was alive, she was part of my PRESENT. When she died, she became part of my PAST. Since being with Jesus in heaven, she has become part of my FUTURE. As a believer in the Lord, I will see her again, not as her husband, but as a chosen member of the bride of Christ.
Thirdly are the prayers and support of other believers. While grieving for the first three months, God sustained me with the prayers of others. Then the Lord moved into my life in an altogether surprising manner. He brought to my attention several months later, a friend, someone whom I have gotten close to, attached to and deeply in love with. This local Hawaiian, German, French and Chinese gal whose name means, "sweet flower" was not brought into my life to replace Paula, but to compliment me in my walk with the Lord. And she has done just that. I have found that there is life and joy after the departure of a loved one. God knows exactly how to bring comfort and support. God is always thinking of us since He knows our needs more than anyone else.
The Bible declares, “He who finds a wife, finds a good thing and receives favor from the Lord.” Let me point out a few important observations about this passage.
1. When other passages in Proverbs are used along with this one, it is clearly seen that, the emphasis is not just on finding a wife, but an “excellent wife” (12:4) and a “prudent wife” (19:14). There is no glory in merely finding a wife, but when you come across someone who is excellent and prudent, and you marry such a woman, your marriage will be a good thing.
2. In Proverbs, there are two things that will give to you the favor of God. First, finding wisdom (8:35), and the second one is finding a good wife (18:22). What is God’s favor? His grace, or His unmerited love and unconditional blessings on your behalf.
3. No woman should ever chase a man. It is the man who is finding the woman, not the other way around. Women, lose yourself totally in the Lord, and then you will become so attractive, that God will see to it that you will be found by someone. Men will chase you. They will seek you out, not because of you, but because of the God who lives within you Who brings out your inner beauty of the heart.
Today is a very emotional day for my family and I. My wife of twenty eight years left me for a much better man on October 25, 2010. She did the right thing! I would have done the same if I was called upon to do so. But for the remaining time that I have left here, my purpose in life has not changed. I am called to win others to Jesus, strengthened believers in their walk with the Lord, and live my life to the glory of God.
