What if I Lived with a "Jerk?" Part 1

The few weeks ago, I shared some common traits that can reveal whether or not a person is in an abusive relationship. After I got through sharing those traits, I began to think about the need to talk about forgiveness. Because some may have been in an abusive relationship, but are no longer bound by one. The scars are still there, however, and the memories are very much raw. How then does a person move on?

The person you were with may have been a real jerk. Some are jerks because they simply play the role, others are jerks because that’s exactly who they are and choose to be. So if you were involved with such a person, what can you do to move on and pass the pain and hurt that got accumulated?

Even more challenging, let’s say that you are now living with someone who at one time was a colossal jerk, but your love and respect for such a person has diminished greatly.  This could be anyone, from your spouse to an employer, pastor, neighbor, family member, or friend. 

This reminds me of the same dilemma many people experience regarding the commandment, “Honor your father and mother: That your days may be long on the earth, which the Lord God has given to you” (Exod. 20:12).  You see, it is easy to honor good old mom and dad when they are good and we like them, but how can we honor someone who is not honorable? How do we honor someone whom we do not like or respect very well because the person had injured us emotionally?

Here’s the key: If you are blessed enough to have a good father or mother (same applies to a spouse), respect and appreciate him or her. But if he or she is so deeply flawed, that he has badly hurt you, then you can still “honor” him – and thus obey God’s law – how? By giving up your resentment toward him.

Part 2 to follow.