So Paul is saying that every married couple has a debt to pay to one another. And what is that debt? To fulfill the physical desire and the physical love and the physical need that each other has. Mutual sexual love in marriage is God's design and it's your duty to one another. It's a vehicle for the expression of that love. And you know what? The very act of sex itself strengthens that love.
In his book, SEX AND SANITY, Tom Blaise wrote: "From one point of view it may be spoken of as a safety valve for irresistible desire, but for the Christian man, the sexual life is infinitely more than that. It is a breath-taking experience. As Bart says, 'A bold and blessed intoxication.' Intercourse is not only the appropriate means for the expression of love, it is also the means by which love itself is strengthened and sustained. Sexual intercourse is far more than a physical act."
So married couples are to pay their debt to one another. Then in verse 4, Paul goes further: The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.
After stating the command in verse 3 to pay one’s debt, Paul states the reason in verse 4. Why should I fulfill my spouse physically? Because you have released the authority over your body to your partner. Wives, your body is not your own, but it belongs to your husband. And likewise, husbands, your body does not belong to you, instead, you have released such authority over to your wife. When you think about what is being said here, this is life changing.
You see, for whatever particular physical expression she has in mind or you have in mind, that sharing is the thing that God designed. How awesome is that? And notice this is in the present tense. Therefore, this releasing of authority over to one’s spouse is life long. So, when you say to your wife – “Babe, your mine!” And when she says to you – “Honey, you're mine!” That is the truest thing in the purest sense that you could say, right out of the Word of God. And you can quote this verse to each other in its fullness and know that God supports that desire that you have for one another.
Now let me just mention a couple additional points here: First, in an age where we often hear women say, “It’s my body and I can do whatever I want with it.” Paul says to wives, “That’s where you are wrong! It is not your body anymore. Your body belongs to your husband!” This is something that every couple who is planning on getting married ought to think about. You should know that when you say at the altar, “I do,” you have just given up your right and authority over your body and handed it over to your spouse. And for you to go around still thinking that this is my body, therefore, I have the final say so in the matter not him is biblically wrong. You are thinking as a single person, not as one who is married. So if your husband has needs, don’t pull back from him as a form of punishing him because he did not remember your anniversary.
And husbands, when you come home from work and you are tired and your wife gives you some time to unwind, don’t abuse that blessing. If she needs to talk to you about her day and she needs you to hold her close, don’t pull back and run away with a mouthful of excuses. Hug her and listen to her as she unloads her day on you. It is not your body but hers and if she wants you to hug her and be physically there to listen to her, then do it. You are no longer single, so stop living as though you are.
Let me explore this even more. Your right over your body was dissolved since you came to Jesus, did you know that? In the previous chapter of 1 Corinthians, Paul said: Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies (6:19-20). Notice that Paul states, “You are not your own. You were bought with a price.” When you said “Yes” to Jesus, and He redeemed you by His precious blood, you became His! Your life is not your own, it totally belongs to God. Therefore, you have no rights of your own except the right to give up your rights over to God. This is why the Bible refers to Christians as “slaves” (Rom. 6:18; Eph. 6:6, although in most translations the word “servant” is used, doulos is better rendered “slave”). A slave has no rights. He belongs to another, that is, to the person who has purchased him or her.
So, when you became a Christian, you had given up all your rights and handed them over to Jesus Christ. He is your Master. And when you become married, you gave up the authority over your body and handed it over to your spouse. Therefore, Jesus has authority over your life; your spouse has authority over your body, what do you have left? Simply, the duty to submit and obey!
A second point I want to make is this: Since your body does not belong to you but to God first (it’s His temple) and to your spouse, why are you abusing it? Why are you pumping drugs in it, filling it full of alcohol, raising your cholesterol level and putting yourself at risk for heart disease?
Let’s say that I come to you asking to borrow your car. You graciously consent. After a few hours, I bring back your car all dirty, scratched, dented, paint chipped, glass cracked and two tires flat. You say, “Waaaaaaat happened?” I reply, “I did some off-road racing. Boy was it fun! WooooooHooooo! What an experience I had!” You come back, “My car is not for off road racing. And besides, it is not ever your car in the first place to go off road racing.” How would you feel? You would be ticked and demand full compensation.
Well, when you abuse what you think is your body and then expect your spouse to love it, you are fooling yourself. You are abusing something that isn’t yours in the first place.
Therefore, if your wife tells you, “Honey, from now on I am going to be cooking more healthy meals. I also do not want you to eat lunch at L&L. Instead, I will be making you your lunch to take to work.” Don’t give her a bad time. She simply wants you to take care of her property.
And if your husband says to you, “Babe, let’s get up an hour early each morning and go for walks,” don’t give him that look and come up with an excuse that your toes hurt. He simply wants you to take better care of his property.
You see, being married is much more than living together apart from sin. Being married has to do with giving up what once was yours and handed it all over to someone else for the rest of your life. Do you still want to get married?
End of Part 8
