“Should I marry,” that’s the question that I’ve been thinking about and some of you might have also asked that question once or twice yourself. The first seven verses of 1 Corinthians answers the celibate question. Some of you may be caught in the debate of your own internal monologue of trying to answer this question. You don't know whether to get married or not to get married. Some of you don't have any option at this point. You're either single and haven't found anybody interesting, or you're married and no options. But some of you do have that option and you don't know whether to look for somebody to marry or whether not to. You don't know whether it's right to remarry, or whatever. So why don’t we depend on the Spirit of God to use the Word of God to help us answer the “Should I marry” question.
In the first seven verses, Paul presents four godly ideas that stem from the issue of being single. Here they are:
1. Celibacy is Good – v. 1: Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: "It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman." Let’s stop here for a moment and examine this verse more closely.
Some translations have the phrase, “it is not good for a man to TOUCH A WOMAN” (i.e. NASB, KJV). Years ago when I first read this I thought, “What, I cannot even touch a woman?” In fact, I went to a bible institute where in chapel we had to sit six inches from the person of the opposite sex. There was a lady who actually would come by with a measuring tape to measure to see if we were at least six inches apart from the person we were sitting next to. And if we were not, she would tap us on the head and tell us to move further apart! Now I dated a Mexican gal back then and I wanted so badly to sit next to her in chapel but was unable too because of the temptation of touching her. When you read this passage in the NASB and KJV, it sounds a little prudish and legalistic.
I remember hearing of a Christian basketball team who was forbidden to wear shorts; instead the players had to wear long pants when they played lest the revelation of their legs should cause someone in the crowd to stumble!
I mean, if you man cannot even touch a woman, that would be a complete bummer! If Paul was referring to a literal touch, then Adam and Eve would be the only people still on earth. However, Paul is not talking about that. Instead, when Paul uses the word “touch” he simply means, “sexual relations.”
Let me show you an example of this in the Old Testament. There was a case in which adultery could have occurred in the family of Abraham. He lied to Abimelech and told him that Sarah was his sister. So Abimelech took her to be his wife. However, God appeared to him in a dream and said, “Yes, I know that in the integrity of your heart you have done this, and I also kept you from sinning against Me, therefore I did not let you TOUCH her” (Gen. 20:6). What did God mean? Simply this: He kept Abimelech from having sexual relations with Abraham’s wife. That’s what the word “touch” means.
Jump on ahead to the Book of Ruth. Boaz had the desire to keep Ruth pure, so he said to her: “Let your eyes be on the field which they reap, and go after them. Indeed, I have commanded the servants not to TOUCH you” (Ruth 2:9).
Over in the sixth chapter of Proverbs we read, “So in the one who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; whoever TOUCHES her will not go unpunished” (v. 29). And of course, the writer is not talking about some tap on the shoulder but rather not having a sexual relationship.
So back to 1 Corinthians 7. Paul is simply saying that it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman especially if he is not married to her. In fact, in the seventh chapter of 1 Corinthians, Paul will show us three things that are good: First, it is good not to have sexual relations if you are single. Second, it is good to be single. Third, it is good for a man not to marry.
Now folks, let me add this for a balance here. Paul does not say it is the ONLY good. Why? Because it is ALSO good to be married. All Paul wants his readers to understand is this: “It is not evil or wrong to be single.”
Now this is a crucial principle to grab a hold of. Because some people believe that if you are still single something must be wrong with you, right? I have heard this from others. I hear others say, “Pastor Rich, so and so is 45 years ago and still single. I wonder what is wrong with him. Perhaps he’s gay!” LOL! Or, “she must have a lot of issues or skeletons in the closet.” No, Paul wants to make it clear that if a person chooses to live his or her life single, such a choice is not evil.
So keep in mind as we make our way through the seventh chapter of 1 Corinthians, Paul is not trying to pit marriage and singleness against one another. He is not saying it is bad to be married and better to be single. The word “good” is the word “kalos” which simply means, “profitable” or “beneficial.” In other words, there are certain benefits to being single and certain benefits being married.
The Jews, you see, use to teach that if you didn't have a wife, you were a sinner. They said this: “A man who does not have a wife and a child has slain his posterity and lessened the image of God in the world.” Seven kinds of people couldn't get to heaven, they had a list. First on the list, a Jew who has no wife. Second, a wife who has no children.
The Jew said - God said be fruitful and multiply and if you don't you're disobedient to the commands of God. Now, no doubt, this pressure was coming on the Corinthian church from the Jewish members. They were saying - You've got to be married.
And some of the Gentiles who didn't want to be married and who wanted to grow in some higher devotional level to God were saying – “We're going to be celibate and we're going to strictly remove ourselves from marriage and live a life totally given over to God.” And so Paul starts out by saying, “That’s fine! Nothing wrong with that!”
“But Pastor Rich, doesn’t the Old Testament teach that it is not good for man to be alone (Gen. 2:18)? Yes it does, but remember, you can be single and still not be alone. You can have friends. I love what Psalm 68:6 says: “God makes a home for the lonely.” You see, your home church maybe your family. Maybe your friends are your family. God will give to single people the friends and family they need to deal righteously with their loneliness. Therefore, if one chooses to be single, that is good and not bad. It is a choice that God honors.
End of Part 4
