USA Today recently ran an article about a study done by the National Marriage Project by Rutgers. This study may motivate churches to do more to uphold the honor of marriage. In a survey of men and women in their twenties: 62% thought living together before marriage is a good way to avoid divorce. This runs counter to countless studies that indicate people who live together before marriage have a greater divorce rate than those who don't.
An even more alarming statistic is that 43% of twenty-somethings would only marry a person who agreed to live together first. No wonder, with living together glamorized by TV and movies.
So it is no wonder that the world and even Christians are asking themselves, “So what is the purpose of getting married in the first place?” God has ordained marriage for a reason – a good one, and like anything that God ordains or sets up for us to obey, it is always with our good in mind.
Here are six good reasons to get married:
1. Procreation - Genesis 1:28 says to be fruitful and multiply and that means having children. That's one reason to get married, is to have children. And that's a good reason to get married. God wants godly families to reproduce what? Godly people.
Now listen, there is no way a family who has children out of wedlock will be able to instill in their children the moral and biblical values of a godly family. Now I am not saying that children born out of wedlock cannot turn out to be godly, indeed they can. But if those same children are going to reproduce godly offspring, in order to do so, they must start by having children within marriage.
Godly children are not simply taught, but reproduced! This means that they become the product of their family and environment. If they are born out of wedlock and grow up without a father or mother, it will have a profound affect on their moral status. It is also true that children born within a household that has both a father and mother who are married to one another can also turn out to be bad. Just look at what occurred with Cain. He ended up murdering his brother, Abel and his parents were Adam and Eve, the very first family God created. Everyone born into this world is born with a sin nature and thus has a propensity to sin. But a two party household with a father and mother who are married to one another has better and greater resources to nurture the values of God in the lives of their children.
2. Pleasure - Another reason to get married is pleasure. Did you know that God designed marriage also for physical pleasure? Hebrews 13:4, the bed is undefiled. In other words, it's an enjoyable experience. Marriage is honorable. Marriage is enjoyable. Proverbs 5 talks about the satisfaction that a husband finds in the physical body of his wife and vice versa. The Song of Solomon from beginning to end is all about romantic love and physical satisfaction. This is why Paul says at the beginning of 1 Corinthians 7, that if a man faces sexual temptation he is to find a woman to marry. The same is true for a woman. Yes, getting married for companionship plays a huge part of wanting to get married, but so is the need to have physical pleasure with ONE WOMAN or ONE MAN. This is God’s design and it has never changed.
3. Provision. God wants a man to provide what a woman needs. The woman, says Peter in I Peter 3:7, is the weaker vessel and God knows that a man can support the weakness of a woman. God wants the man to provide for the woman, to nourish her, Ephesians 5:29 says, to cherish her, to strengthen her, to give her something to lean on, to fortify her.
I believe this particular one really helps the couple to preach to the world through their marriage the love that Christ has for the church. The way the husband loves his wife by sacrificing for her and cherishing her ought to proclaim loudly to others that in a similar but greater way, Jesus does this for the church. And the way a wife submits to her husband out of love and respect ought to proclaim to the world that this is how the church does so to Jesus.
Now let me be clear on this one: If a wife finds it hard and most difficult to submit to her husband, I can guarantee she struggles in submitting to Jesus. And if a husband finds it burdensome to love his wife, he has serious issues when it comes to loving Christ.
Here is a verse to remember: 1 John 1:7: “If we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another.” In other words, our fellowship with one another is dependent on our walking in the light with God. And the flipside is also true. Our walking in the light with God, cannot occur if we are not in fellowship with one another. You see how both sides are not mutually exclusive?
So if a man really loves God, it is true he also loves his wife. If a wife really is submitting to God, it is true she is also submitting to her husband. I have talked to wives who really believe that they can choose not to submit to their husbands and still go throughout the day walking with God. No wonder John says that when we think like this, we are “deceiving ourselves” (1 John 1:8).
4. Partnership - Marriage is for partnership. In the Old Testament, God says to Adam - You need a helpmeet (Gen. 2:18). You need a helper. You don't need to do things alone, you need a helper. And so it is for partnership. God gives us a friend. And I think, really, the key ingredient in a marriage is friendship, i.e. a partner for life.
When I was married, my wife and I partnered together on so many things. For starters, in the beginning of my ministry, she would edit my sermons and read and correct my outlines. She started doing this while I was in seminary. She also would tell me what kinds of combination of clothes looks good and what to avoid. She was my most faithful critic of all my sermons and teaching times. She partnered with me faithfully in prayer. I knew she was my armor bearer and was praying for me at all times.
She partnered with me in keeping the home in order and helping to instill godly principles in our kids. She did the household chores and would often remind me about things I had to do but had also forgotten. This was only the tip of the iceberg. I would often say to others that God is actually pouring His blessing on her and I happen to be standing next to her getting the splash affects. When both a husband and wife partner together to do ministry, there is nothing else like it. It brings so much joy, satisfaction and fulfillment to serve the Lord together and then after you done so, to talk about it afterwards and the lessons and gems you learned along the way.
5. Picture - Marriage is given as a picture. Ephesians 5 says it is a symbol to the world of God's relationship to His church. I have already to some extent touched on this in number 3. One of the divine purposes of marriage is so it can be a vehicle or tool for the couple to preach to the world the relationship Christ has with His bride, the church, and the bride’s relationship to her husband, the Lord Jesus Christ.
6. Purity – That is to keep people from committing fornication. God wants us to be pure and so He ordained marriage to meet our physical needs and at the same time to keep us holy before Him. When Paul wrote to the Thessalonians about sexual purity, this is how he put it: For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, 5not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. 7ForGod has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. 8Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you (1 Thess. 4:3-8).
Notice a few observations in the above passage: First, sexual purity is the will of God. You want to know what is God’s will for you as a single person? Stay sexually pure until you find someone to marry. Second, until you do find someone to marry, learn to control your body. This means that one ought to stay away from temptations and tempting situations. Third, God is the avenger of the sin of impurity. God does forgive when people mess up, but He does not dissolve the consequences. Fourth, God’s calling on our lives is to walk in holiness. Therefore, we see that both the will of God and the call of God have the same goal in mind – our purity and holiness. Fifth, this mandate on purity does not come from the teachings of men, but from God.
So what is the purpose of marriage? It is for procreation, pleasure, provision, partnership, picture and purity. Therefore, as you set out looking for a potential person to marry, keep these six purposes in mind and go over them when the time is right. Make sure you and your significant other knows what God’s purposes are for a marriage. You will both be right in the center of God’s will.
End of Part 6
