In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul starts out by saying that being single is good, not bad. Someone might raised the question about single people not having a family. However, there are other ways to have family without being married. Your church for one thing could be your family – whether married or not. Someone else’s family could adopt you as its own. You could be blessed with lots of friends who treat one another as family. The point Paul is making is simply this: If you're single, it's good. It's not bad, it's not evil, it's not wrong, it's good.
Here is Paul’s second point – Celibacy is not only good, it is also tempting. And this is where being single becomes a little tough. Sure singleness is good, but staying sexually pure is hard to do. Therefore, Paul says in verse 2: But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
Now notice what Paul says – “Each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.” These are commands. He says – If you don’t have the gift of singleness and you feel yourself battling sexual temptation, then get married. Why? On account of what? Immorality. Listen, being single is good, but it's tempting. And the gross style of Corinthian life made it harder for the unmarried to be pure, just like it does in our day.
It is true that so many unmarried people have problems today because of the constant barrage of sexual temptation being thrown at them through the media and social situations. Now Paul is not saying that if one is battling sexual temptation then just find anyone to marry you. Not at all. He is simply answering one issue that was occurring back then – that everyone should be single so they can serve God at the greatest and highest level. But Paul’s point is that not everyone can live the single life since their desires are too strong. For such people, the only remedy is to get married.
Now even for single people, not getting married is no guarantee one will be more devoted to God without interruptions. For example, if you do not have the gift of singleness and you struggle frequently with sexual temptation, it doesn’t matter if you’re single, you are still being distracted from serving God. Your thoughts and heart are divided. Your emotions are running over. Your passions are on fire. Oh, yes, you are single, but look at the internal battle you are having to wage war with on a daily basis just to get through. You might think to yourself, “Well, sure I have these strong desires and passions, but at least I am single to serve the Lord without the responsibility of a spouse in my life.” But who are you fooling? Your own desires are only making you spend more time on the defensive trying to control the flesh and less time on the offensive seeking ways to use your time for the Lord. In this scenario, you might as well throw up the white flag and find yourself a spouse. At least then you will be able to serve the Lord with far less frustrations. Therefore, in order to avoid the sin of immorality, Paul says, “Please, get married. Find your own husband or wife.” That’s God design and way to battle sexual temptations.
This is why we often read how priests get themselves into trouble. The Roman Catholic system teaches that priests must be single and therefore cannot marry. The single lifestyle for priests is not voluntary, but mandated. Thus many priests have to endure their sexual passions even if they do not have the gift of being single. Some cannot cope so they molest young boys. Many of them are secretly involved with porn. Paul's advice to such people is to stop fighting your desires and certainly stop denying that they exist. Instead, get married! It is not wrong to get married if your desires are both active and strong.
In fact, Paul had something seriously to say about this kind of a system that denies people the right to marry, when he wrote: Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons. And what’s one of the teachings of demons? Verse 3: Men who forbid marriage (1 Tim. 4:1, 3).
You see, if one chooses not to marry because he or she feels called serve the Lord as a single person, that's good. But on the other hand, never ever forbid others to marry, nor should you forbid yourself to marry especially if you do not have the calling of God to live as a single person. And may I also add, never look down on others who are married. A single person may think of himself better off than one who is married because he can devote more time for the Lord. But remember this: When it comes to serving Jesus, more time is not the issue. It is how we use our time that counts. Paul said "making the most of your time because the days are evil" (Eph. 5:16).
So what have we learned from 1 Corinthians 7 so far? First, singleness is good. Second, singleness is also tempting. But there's more. Someone may ask, "If marriage is such a good thing, what is its purpose?" We'll answer this next time.
End of Part 5
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