A Fresh Look at Divorce and Remarriage, Part 11

An interesting passage about marriage is found in 2 Corinthians 11.  Paul begins the chapter with these words: 

I wish you would bear with me in a little foolishness. Do bear with me! ² For I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ. ³ But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ (vv. 1-3).

Paul says to the Christians in this church: “Allow me to sounds a little mushy for a moment as I talk about something that is dear to me.  I have a deep affection toward you.  I presented you to one husband as a pure virgin to Christ.”

This is again that same beautiful imagery that the Bible speaks of in Ephesians 5 -- that a believer is united to Christ in a kind of a marriage perspective.

He states:  “I gave you to one husband.”  But then notice the following words of sorrow in verse 3: “But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ.”

In other words, Paul says, “I gave you to ONE husband, to Jesus as a pure virgin. You are to be His forever. But the serpent has come along and deceived you and led you astray. You have fallen out of love for your “one husband” and have come to love others. This is spiritual adultery. Falling out of love for Christ has meant that you have “been led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.”

The idea is this: “You have left (or divorced) Jesus for another lover. But Jesus is still remaining single. He still loves you!  Even though He could very well choose another bride to be His people, He is committed to loving only you.”

Why is this so important to note? Because again, we see that marriage is to be a true picture of Jesus’ love for His bride, the church, and the church is to respond to Jesus’ love with a heart of submission and devotion.

When a marriage ends in divorce, the biblical imagery is broken.  You see, by our marriages, we’re preaching something about God that is either true or not. Just like our lives are to be God’s witness to the world, so our marriage is to be a witness of God to the world concerning Jesus’ relationship to the church.

I come across a lot of people who tell me that by living together unmarried, they stand a better chance of making it than if they would actually get married. I ask, “How so?”  The answer is alarming. I am told in so many words, “As long as the back door remains open, we get along fine. Once that back door is closed, it changes things.”

I am convinced that this mindset has been perpetrated by Satan.  I am convinced that Satan has used the proliferation of divorce and remarriage in the world and especially among Christians to sow a non-biblical view of marriage in the hearts of so many people. And I am also convinced that this non-biblical view has left many people doubting God’s love for them and whether or not His ways are really the best.

We are often told that God’s commandments are designed to be good for us.  Many are thinking otherwise. They see such things as marriage to be bad for them.  Thus it is better and more practical to live together and have a family than to actually get married.  If things do not work out, then one has to experience the pain and financial suffering of a divorce. 

Now listen carefully:  There are two words in the English language that do not have the same meaning when we use them.

The first is the word “commitment.” We tell people in the church that they ought to be committed to the church, to their spouses, to one another, to a ministry, and so forth. But here’s the thing: Commitment carries with it a sense of control.  “I will be committed to something as long as I feel I am in control of.” The idea is that I will control my level of commitment. 

This is why living together for so many couples is so attractive. Is there commitment present in the relationship?  Yes there is! But it is commitment mingled with control.

The second word is “surrender.”  This is a word that is often not used in the church today because of its obvious connotation – loss of or virtually no control. When I surrender myself to someone or something, I am giving up my right to be in control.

This is why obeying God is done in a shady manner. We obey God only when we can perceive that we will do so and still remain somewhat in control. Thus, if things do not go right, we have the power and control to bail or change course.

But if we surrender ourselves to someone or something, we give up our right to stay in control. Marriage is often view as an act of surrender. Again, this is why people who are not married can live together and consider it a sign of commitment to one another because they both perceive themselves to be in control if something does not go right. But marriage is viewed as an altogether different animal. It is more toward surrender and less toward commitment.

Jesus taught marriage as a lifestyle of total surrender when He said, “What God has joined together, let no man separate” (Matt. 19:6). This woke the disciples up to the point that they said, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry” (v. 10).

Jesus’ response was revealing:  “Not all men can accept this, but only to those to whom it has been given” (v. 11).

End of Part 11